The Magdalen - Forgotten Goddess

The book is my account of a spiritual journey of self-discovery that extended over several years and a number of countries and which outwardly began for me in an ancient church near Venice. There, knowing very little about her before then, I discovered and was deeply moved by a very old fresco of Mary Magdalen.

My inner quest to discover the essential truth about this charismatic, enigmatic figure soon led me to realise that she not only represents all that is strong and beautiful in human living and loving but that she also encapsulates something lost to the world since Goddess times and so vital to us today - the power, wisdom and love of the Feminine Principle and the need for balance with the Masculine Principle.

As my knowledge and love of her deepened I found myself engaged in conversations with her that were very real and true for me.

These conversations and the thoughts poems and paintings which flowed from them I have put down in the hope that they may inspire others to undertake their own voyages of self-discovery and help in some small way to rekindle in the world the love which shines through the life of this most remarkable woman. (206pp text + 9 colour illustrations)

The Magdalen - Forgotten Goddess (Excerpts)

This is a personal journey - a re-discovering, a remembering of the Feminine principle, its lostness to us, the value of its return to us all, its importance. I knew nothing of Mary Magdalen. The beginning, first inklings, stirrings, were in the crypt of a very old church north of Venice, where I saw a fresco of overwhelming grief and love. It was Mary Magdalen holding the dead Christ, her love, and spirit companion, just after he had been taken down from the cross. She was so strong, so feminine, so human - so beautiful. It awoke in me - her. Her anguish, grief, loss - and of her as a real person, yet also as an enigmatic figure of mythical proportions.

I wrote what I felt, and then set off to discover what I could of her.
But still, what I felt about her initially has remained foremost.
And I love her dearly - as a strong woman, a goddess archetype, and a friend.
She has much to give us all - women and men.
She has waited so long for us.
I dedicate this to her, and the continuance of her spirit and influence in our world.

She stands foursquare and solid.
A big beauty covers her being.
She emanates truth, and of spiritual and physical life.
She tells us we are lovely and magnificent, and can live our lives as such.
On this earth a glory and grace of living.

Tuesday l2th August
Life is so hilariously ridiculous sometimes - there must be more to it than just this that we see. There is so much more to it, this magnificence that we walk around in, this cloak, and clothes of the body. What joy and wonderment if we could truly know ourselves in all our magnificence.

I wonder if that is what we are afraid of - our own majesty. Have people invented something outside themselves (i.e. God) because they cannot face the majesty of themselves - the concept that they could possibly be total love? They feel they need an intermediary to allow them to see this.

Have we invented all the trappings of religion so that we don’t have to own up to ourselves? Put it on to something or someone else. Make ourselves smaller, of less value, so we can be of no worth without this other or its blessing or even condemnation. Is this what we are here for, to remember and realise as a truth that we are the Spirit, the All, and total Love? Do we not want to admit to our own responsibility for ourselves? Are we afraid that total love would consume us? (Well, it would, because we would be totally it!)

There must have been a time when we ‘knew’ and ‘were’ this love. Perhaps we grew tired of this and decided to try being human, to see what it was like - indeed how long it would take us - to remember. I wonder if we did not realize just how long it would take. And what suffering lay along this path. How many lives we would need. Is this why, to me, this life sometimes seems so unreal, as if I should be somewhere else?

Can Mary Magdalen, the forgotten goddess look us straight in the eye, and know us - totally? And can we be reflected back so we can see ourselves in total glory - shining and clear?

Tuesday l4th October
I feel her with me.
I take her with me.

Her story unfolds inside me.

Despite all other things to prevent its life, it lives on in
me, and it wants to be told by me - and thus to continue.

The face in front of my mind’s eye now has a gentle smile, softening it. Such a strong face, so lovely, and loving - makes it easier to see and feel that there is the possibility of a continuance, and that I am part of it - we all are.

But we must realize it, see our magnificence, our true value, our part in building on - each life at a time - the energy of Being.

Wednesday l5th October
She requires a kind of sharpness from us - a clarity in the sense of ourselves.
Darkness and sharpness hit me here.
A churning in the pit of the stomach.
Her love is so great it encompasses all these things, yet allows me to be myself.

The sweetness of her breath
As her cheek brushes mine.
Strength, and gentleness.
Radiance.

A return is a beginning;
Yet not so,
When in the circle of life.
Just a continuum.

I am with Her.
And my delight is in Her.
I am She,
And She is me.

Clap your hands with joy, with glee, if you feel like it!

Sometimes I stretch myself, face to the sky, and say, “Yes”.
And “Yes” again - to life - whatever that brings.

Wednesday 23rd December.
Why do I sometimes feel a fake at this thing called life?
I know not.
I feel as if I am in the wrong life, or is it that I am so changed that this life does not fit me?
If that is so, where is the life I should be living in?
I write quite often - that the life we are in is the life we are meant to be living. This life is us living it.
Then why do I sometimes really feel otherwise? Which is the real concept?

And sometimes I get just a glimpse at the glory, the majesty, the honour, of being alive.
The living of life is ‘it’.
Think on this.

The reason to go forward is
that life needs you.

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